Eat me first!

The Sea Minky, a kosher cruise liner, is suddenly hit by a hurricane out at sea and is shipwrecked on an island inhabited by cannibals. Only three passengers manage to survive the shipwreck and they just happen to be members of the same shul – Rabbi Levy, Morris the shul’s President and Lazarus the shul’s…

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They are for the Shiva…

As 80 year old Benny lay dying in his bedroom, he suddenly smells the aroma of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. They are his favourite. So he gathers his remaining strength, lifts himself from his bed and leaning against the wall, slowly makes his way out of the bedroom. Then, with…

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Where’s my Rolex?

Wealthy Fred opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a  car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, Fred was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined. “You rich people are so…

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Either come in or stay out!

Fay’s son Harry is always getting into mischief, and she is getting quite exasperated by his antics. One day, Fay says to him, “Harry, how do you expect to get into Heaven when you’re always so naughty?” Harry thinks about this question for a little while, then replies, “Well, mum, I’ll run in and out…

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The ultimate Bar Mitzvah…

Marvin was a bragger and loved to out-do his friends whenever he could and now it was coming up to the time of his son Isaac’s bar mitzvah. He gave it a lot of thought and then, after studying many brochures and maps, he hit upon a perfect, unique way to celebrate – a safari.…

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Take the poison…

Irving goes to seek counsel from his Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” “What’s wrong?” Asked the Rabbi Irving replied, “I think my wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” Irving pleads, “I’m telling you Rabbi, I’m certain…

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